Lost & Broken
by One-Eyed-Wannabe
Summary: What if Michael had broken up with will for a slightly different reason? Songfic- Good Charlottes Wounded WillJack. Please R&R. [One-Shot]


Disclaimer- I don't own any of these characters. They belong to NBC etc. The only thing I

Own is this story. Please don't sue.

Warnings- This is a gay romance and has the occasional swear word mentions of sex too.

Notes- Wills POV

flashback

Summary- . What if Michael had broken up with will for a slightly different reason? Songfic

Good Charlottes Wounded WillJack. Please R&R. One-Shot

Lost and Broken

_Lost and Broken,_

_Hopeless and Lonely._

_Smiling on the outside,_

_But hurt beneath my skin._

Sitting alone in my apartment- again. It's been a week since Michael broke up with me, and I still can't seem to get over it. Grace has been bugging me constantly, trying to get me to admit I'm hurt. She knows I am but I won't tell her, I can't.

As for Jack, well, he's…Jack. He comes over every night trying to get me to go clubbing with him, trying to hook me up with people who can't speak English. It's just his way of helping I guess. Most people just think he's thoughtless and inconsiderate, but he just has a rather strange concept of the actual meaning of 'help'. I just brush them both off, pretending I'm okay. Then I spend another night alone sitting by the phone, waiting just in case he calls.

_My eyes are fading,_

_My soul is bleeding._

_I'll try to make it seem okay,_

_But my faith is wearing thin._

I cry every night, but not because of Michael. I'm hurt, but not because he broke up with me. The reason I sit by the phone hoping he'll call isn't because I want to get back with him. I want him to say he was wrong about what he said. I want him to tell me he was wrong about Jack, that I love him but not like that. I know he won't though. Because the faith he would call became hope, two days after the break up. Now even my hope is gone. Because he was right. He is right. I love Jack.

_So help me heal these wounds,_

Will he? I turned him down when he was 17. I loved him then too. But I didn't realize. Now I know the truth, is it too late?

_They been open for way too long._

I hurt him, and didn't bother trying to make him feel better, even though I knew he liked me. Will he give me a chance now? Does he even still have feelings for me? No, I let him down, why should he give me a chance when I never did?

_Help me fill this soul,_

Will he help me? Will he make me whole again? I doubt it, but there's only one way to find out.

_Even though this is not your fault._

No, it's not his problem. I let him down then, he'll let me down now. Won't he?

_That I'm open,_

_And I'm bleeding,_

_All over your brand new rug._

Well, whose fault is it that I'm hurt? If I hadn't hurt him then I wouldn't be sitting here alone wondering if Jack will ever want me again. I had this coming, I had a chance and I blew it. I was wrong I did realize I loved him; I just hid it- even from myself. I'm bleeding because I basically stabbed myself in the gut and left my wound open and bleeding.

_And I need someone to help me sew them up._

In the end though, maybe he will give me chance. Maybe he still loves me. Even if he doesn't he will understand, chances are he'd be sensitive and try to help me feel better.

Yeah, better knowing for sure than being left in the dark wondering what might happen if I did. Better knowing than being scared and alone. I'll tell him.

_I only wanted a magazine,_

_I only wanted a movie screen,_

_I only wanted the life I'd read about a dream._

Wow, I'm actually out my apartment for the first time in a week. I see the news agents where I (hang out with Jack) used to go with Michel. I can see the movies where me and (Jack have or Friday night movie club) Michael used to go on dates. It all seems so distant now. It seems like a movie or a dream I can only vaguely remember.

_And now my mind is an open book,_

_And now my heart is open wound,_

_And now my life is an open soul for all to see._

I'm only a couple of blocks away from Jacks place now. God, I feel so empty and delicate. I know that if any homophobe recognizes me for who I am and so much as yells "Fag!" across the street I'll cry. Thank God this is a fairly quiet time, not that they would know I was gay just by looking at me but all the same I'm scared. I'm not normally such an emotional person, but this last week has been the most depressing week of my life.

Shit, I'm at his door. Can I knock? Come on I've been here thousands of times and I've never been nervous before. Huh? I haven't knocked yet have I? No. But how come the doors opening? "Will? Why are you standing outside?" Jack must've seen me standing outside. He looks so beautiful just standing there with the light from the hall behind him; he almost looks like he's glowing.

_But help me heal these wounds,_

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"I got something to say, but it's kinda… hard," I think this is the most serious I've ever seen him. He didn't giggle when I said hard which I really thought he would. Instead he's gently steering me into his living room and sitting me on the couch. Yeah he's being serious alright; he's just sitting next to me, looking at me, waiting for me to say what I've got to say. Well, it's now or never. "Jack, I… I'm in love with you,"

_They been open for way too long._

_Help me fill this soul,_

_Even though this is not your fault._

"I'm sorry Will," Shit, I should've seen this coming, why the hell did I even admit how I felt toward him? "Don't you love me anymore?" Idiot! Now you're just gonna hurt yourself even more. "I do love you Will- in that way," What?

"Why are you letting me go then?"

"You're in pain at the moment; you've just got broken up with. I… I just can't let myself get hurt by you again." May be he would if he understood why Michael broke up with me. I should tell him then maybe he'd wanna go out with me.

_That I'm open,_

_And I'm bleeding,_

_All over your brand new rug._

"Look, Jack the reason Michael broke up with me is because he said I was in love with you," Wow, didn't think it would surprise him that much. I don't think I've ever seen his eyes that wide before. "Really?" His voice shaky; oh crap, he's gonna cry. "Yeah, really," He's smiling now; thank God I really would hate to make him cry.

"So…" I don't think he's ever been this tense around me before. And I'm sure I've never seen him blush before, I could defiantly get used to it though, makes him look really cute. "Want me to tell you exactly how he broke up with me?" He gives me a shy little nod. "Well it happened exactly a week a go as you know…

"Will?"

"Yeah sweetie?"

"We need to talk," I really hate that tone of voice, and those words can never mean something good. "Why?"

"Because you don't love me,"

"Of course I do,"

"No, you love Jack,"

"I love Grace but that doesn't mean I'd sleep with her,"

"But you're in love with Jack,"

"No I'm not,"

"You are and I'm leaving, call me when you guys get together,"

"You're wrong Michael! Me and Jack will never get together, so you'll be waiting for a very lo…" Then I realize he's gone and I'm yelling at a closed door.

_And I need some one to help me,_

_So you come along,_

_I push you away,_

_Then kick and scream for you to stay._

"So, all week you've been trying to get rid of me and Grace and now you want me to start sleeping with you?" He's still surprised, I can tell.

"Well, we could do more than just sleep together…" He's laughing now.

"Like what?"

"Well, we can go on dates, hug and kiss, hold hands in the street and sleep together,"

"So what do ya wanna do tonight then?" Any trace of surprise or shyness has gone now; he's the guy I met at Matt Stokes party and the guy I found stealing clothes from my closet again. "Well… I think we should put the bed to good use,"

"You want us to go to sleep?" He teases.

"I think you know what I mean," I laugh has I drag him towards his bedroom.

_Cause I need someone to help me,_

_Oh I need someone to help me,_

_To help me heal these wounds,_

_They been open for way too long._

_Help me fill this soul,_

_Even though this is not your fault._

_That I 'm open,_

_And I'm bleeding,_

_All over your brand new rug._

_And I need someone to help me sew them,_

_I need someone to help me fill them,_

_I need someone to help me close them up._

"Hello?"

"Hey Michael, It's me Will. I just called to say you were right,"

"I know and he loves you,"

"I know,"

"Bye Will, I love you,"

"Bye Michael, I'm sorry I can't say the same, but I hope you find someone too,"


End file.
